Vanochtend werd ik wakker en dacht: “Hoe nu hier een eind aan te breien?” Heb ik wel de kracht om dit wat er niet is te beëindigen? Goh, hoe anders had het jaar er uit gezien als ik zijn verzoek niet had geaccepteerd. Maar ja, voor spijt is het nu te laat. By the way: hoe noem je zoiets als een “non-existing relatie” ding?
The first time I had sex with this guy being a player, I immediately felt different and excited about it. And I thought to myself “Shut it down. You don’t want to fall into the same old pattern and have this kind of shit.” Unfortunately, what we want and how we feel don’t always see eye-to-eye. I decided to try something new: to allow myself to explore my sexual feelings with him.
Een jaar verder en ik realiseer me wat ik eigenlijk niet wil: dat het alleen maar om seks draait. For the first time in my life, I was able to recognize when someone was not able to give me what I need and what I know I deserve. Besides, I hate when a guy only texts and never calls or even just a face-to-face chat. Luckily, I do know that I want and deserve more than just sex. Though, more importantly, I have the strength to walk away from something that isn’t right for me. Goodbye and good riddance! Life is too short to deal with someone’s crap. Maar zeg eens, waarom ben ik nu teleurgesteld of verdrietig om iets te eindigen wat eigenlijk nooit echt is begonnen. How is it possible to be hurt when I’m the one who choose to walk away? The truth is, no one can do that except me. I have to know what I want and know that I’m strong enough to walk away if I don’t get it.
You know love is a very complicated thing. But aren’t we people not extraordinarily complicated? Nevertheless, if you are able to say goodbye – really say goodbye, just like I did with a bad love 26 years ago – and live your life with a smile on your face and a heart that’s still intact, then that person wasn’t right for you. When you love and respect yourself, you’ll do the only right thing for yourself and that’s saying goodbye forever. How hard it maybe that moment. Zeg maar in jezelf: “Thank you for having served your purpose in my life. I am now making space for something new and better to come into my life.” To find the person of my dreams and never dare say goodbye to.
